The Transformational Relationship
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“Even in such a short amount of time, we left with a renewed sense of connection and powerful reflections which we are still digesting. We both feel that your insights and clarity of speech are truly remarkable, along with your humor and genuine care which created a space where we felt safe to explore. – S&C
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“My wife and I came to Zachary seeking guidance. We knew there were currents moving beneath the surface of our relationship, but we lacked the tools and the language to truly understand them. What we discovered in just two sessions with Zachary was nothing short of transformative.” – T&T
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“In just two sessions, you managed to untangle ten years of marriage conflicts and support us to find solid ground in our love for the future. We are unbelievably grateful.” – J&B
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+ Apply to the Free Couples Demo with my learning community
I work privately with couples but also regularly demo this process with my learning community. So if you’re interested in taking part in that, just reach out.
Because what you will find when you begin to understand the energetics of conflict resolution is that there is a moment. A felt moment where the energetic blockage “unkinks,” and the energy begins to move fluidly through the interpersonal system. Following that, all the stuff you thought you were arguing about suddenly becomes radically easier to resolve. Because you’re no longer being lobotomized by chaotic energies hijacking your nervous system and turning you into a warring Neanderthal.
So if you’re interested in that, just email me with a kindly worded introduction, and if it doesn’t contain too many typos we’ll schedule an intro call to make sure we’re a fit. Then we’ll do a live, unrecorded demo with my learning community, followed by a private 1:1 integration session with me to tie it all together. All free. Peace in.
What we’re all looking for is …
someone we can meet in healthy, healing, growth-oriented conflict—and repair. Someone who can make us laugh until we choke, while calling us out with care and respect.
This work asks us to enter the underworld of our traumas, and let the pain warp and remake us until we barely recognize our old selves.
Every time we go down, all we find is another part of us asking to be found and reintegrated.
When we bring that part back and make peace above ground—having braved the fires below—we look at the one who traveled the road with us and laugh, cry, and embrace with new love. We did it again. We faced wounds as old as time and returned more whole.
This is the journey I’ve been blessed to walk thousands of times with clients and couples for over two decades—where the perennial truths come alive again: after a dark night, the sun; with death, new life; and only by accepting the inevitability of conflict can a durable peace abide—if we’re willing to take the ride.
If you’re in a relationship facing repeating conflicts, reach out. Let’s see what psyche and soul are actually doing in that most sacred crucible—why the patterns recur and how to re-contextualize them as initiations in healing and empowerment between soul-family members.
The Current State of Conflict Resolution …
broadly speaking, does not include the energetic dimensions of the soma. I can’t overstate how important this is. Because what it means is that most conflicts, especially those at the geopolitical level, are not going to be resolved in our lifetime. Because we’re not addressing the energetic root of them. Because as a species, we’ve only just begun to understand how to do that. And I say this after twenty years of training in conflict resolution plus the anabolic, energy-sensitivity-upgrade that ten years of chronic illness gifted me. I explore some of this in my: Roots and Antidote of Conflict, but I’ll summarize it all here as clearly as I can:
Conflict is always the result of a psycho-somatic system unable to repress, or metabolize its pain, and which, as a consequence, has no choice but to relieve itself by exorcising that pain onto another.
We used to have tribal processes for this with an actual goat, but since that was abandoned it’s been blood feuds as far as the eye can see: at the level of the psyche, where one part marginalizes another, at the level of the family, where one person’s pain spills onto the others, in executive teams, political parties, nation-states. You get it. It’s all one continuum, growing in complexity and intensity at every scale.
But because most of us can’t see this energy or feel it, and as a result, are unable to metabolize it, we have no choice but to address “the pain” at less fundamental levels that include:
- Differences in worldview
- Divergent religious beliefs
- A fight for resources
- ‘Othering’ people
And yes, those things are also happening. But unless the energetics underneath them are correctly untangled first, even when we do come up with a “solution” to the narrative tangle above it, we will continue to feel the unresolved energetics beneath it, and, as a result, the resolution will be short lived and the conflict will ultimately flare again, and again, at some point in the future, ad nauseam.
About Zachary
Zachary is a guide for those undergoing healing and transformation physically, psychologically, emotionally, somatically and spiritually. His work spans multiple fields, disciplines and modalities that include trans-personal and developmental psychology, Family Constellation, Jungian and Archetypal Analysis, Autonomic Response Testing, hypnotherapy, trauma resolution, meditation, mythology, Hermeticism and the dreaming mind. He works in private practice online with leaders, artists, and couples on the path, in close collaboration with naturopathic doctors and alternative healers.
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